by Doug Gray | Dec 24, 2024 | Business, Consulting, faith, family, Family Wealth, Leadership, strengths, Success
What interest should go first?
Family Capital is defined as durable family harmony and governance.
Financial Capital is any investable asset – time, treasure, tithe or truths.
I’m not sure which form of capital goes first.
But I am sure that values drive behaviors. We love our children, and we would take a leave from work to care for our children. Right?
Recently one of my clients shared a story of a family that did just that. They rallied around a 2-year old fighting cancer. They re-designed work loads and scheduled care givers. They pooled money to support the healthcare costs. And last week they rang the bell- to celebrate! The nurses lined the hallway. The neighbors lined the street. The grandparents drove the car. The parents waved to neighbors and protected their immune-compromised child from any risks. Values drive our behaviors.
I am also sure that most families share the same values: integrity, asset preservation, legacy stewardship, philanthropy, responsible service to others.
When I directed a non-profit summer camp program at a Quaker School near Washington, DC, I saw those values every day. Parents invested as much as possible to provide more opportunities for their children. That program grew over 800% because of their shared values.
Many of those parents struggled to support their children. They wanted to support their family capital. And they had limited financial capital. Just like you and I.
My experience is that most families struggle with financial literacy because they don’t discuss financial capital enough. There is an endless need for family meetings to discuss cash flow and investing.
When our children were in Middle School and High School we had Sunday evening meetings after dinner to discuss the week, and financial matters. They were short meetings. The children led parts of them. They learned to live below their means. They learned that what their friends posted on social media was not always true. They learned to invest in compounding assets.
Now I facilitate family meetings for clients. On Tuesday night I facilitated another virtual 90-minute family meeting. The patriarch, matriarch and a sister represented the Elders. The Next Gens included 3 children aged 28-40 and one spouse. Three wealth advisors provided content on retirement and investing options. My role was to encourage the Next Gens to ask questions about Roths, IRAs, compounding, employee matching… everything needed for them to make more informed decisions.
That was their second educational session and we will have at least two more in the next 4 months. One breakthrough was when the daughter, newly divorced and single, realized more options from her employee match. Another breakthrough was when one of the sons realized that as an independent contractor doing work for the family business, he needed to contribute more to his pretax options.
As the children shared their takeaways the father was glowing with delight.
Every Elder wants their children to make smarter financial decisions.
Maybe Family Capital and Financial Capital go hand in hand.
Any thoughts?
by Doug Gray | Apr 16, 2013 | change, Coaching, Employment, faith, Leadership, Managers, money, Personal Development, strengths, Success
I just got off a peer coaching call with a man I have never met.
Yet for 3 years we have held each other accountable to our dreams, goals, and visions. He is my peer coach.
We agreed that coaching can never be a commodity because:
1. Coaching is an interactive process. We exchange all that is human. We interrupt. We rant. We share evidence-based wisdom. We guarantee results.
2. Commodities have no emotions. And people do. You can buy consultative video coaching snippets. You can buy self coaching units. And you can buy junk food. Those commodities are worthless.
One goal of coaching is to enable people to garner their emotional strength into constructive action.
We KNOW that emotions drive thoughts. And thoughts drive actions. We even know what portions of the brain, and what neuro-chemical triggers are involved. So why would anyone even consider that coaching can be a commodity?
I am not threatened by the commoditization of coaching services.
However, I am disappointed by the distrust and fear that some people have that prevents them from asking for help.
Give me a call. Let’s talk about what you are feeling and thinking and doing.
by Doug Gray | Jan 5, 2013 | Business, change, Coaching, energy industry, exercise, faith, family, Financial Professionals, Leadership, Managers, money, Personal Development, strengths, Success
WTF stands for “what the f____” It’s a swear word. You should know that.
I swear by this: WTF stands for “What’s The Focus?”
When you FOCUS on providing great value to people, then you will do so.
When you focus on cheating people, then you will do so.
WTF Coaching is a process of intentionally focusing on positive outcomes in your professional and personal life.
We ALL need WTF coaching at times.
No one is successful when they are alone. Teams are successful. The myth of the solo-preneur is dead. Every successful client and alliance partner that I know of has a tremendous support team providing sales, marketing, delivery, assessments, etc.
Throughout history, our WTF Coaches have helped us become successful. They help us keep our focus.
I currently work with 2 peer WTF Coaches, because I need more help than many 🙂
So, who is your WTF Coach?
by Doug Gray | Jan 3, 2013 | Business, change, Coaching, exercise, faith, family, Leadership, Managers, Personal Development, Sales, strengths
Jim Collins is credited with saying, “If you have more than 3 “top goals”, then you will not make any a priority.”
Review your goals list. Narrow it to your Top 3. No more. Stay focused on those.
We know from research tinto successful people that they ALL have an obsessive focus on one goal. Not three goals… Consider Steve Jobs, Martin Luther King Jr, anyone in any history book. They had one goal. Only one. Only 1.
So, what is your 1 top goal?
by Doug Gray | Jan 2, 2013 | Business, change, Coaching, exercise, faith, Leadership, Managers, Personal Development, strengths, Success
There are only 2 times each day when you are alone with your thoughts. No distractions. No chaos…
1. when you wake up and think…
2. when you go to sleep and think…
So, it should be no surprise that, throughout recorded history, wise people have urged people to ask these two questions daily:
1. Who can I help today? Let that answer lead you into a life of service.
2. What am I thankful for today? Let that answer lead you to a life filled with gratitude.
Although I am not the wisest person in the world, I have practiced these two questions every day for decades. The answers have helped guide me. Perhaps they will guide you also.
How do these answers help you live with gratitude?
by Doug Gray | Dec 31, 2012 | change, Coaching, exercise, faith, Leadership, strengths, Success
Thomas Jefferson described “The Pursuit of Happiness” as an eternal truth. He wrote amid revolutions in France and the unformed United States.
Recent research in neurobiology demonstrates that HOW we choose to live enervates different parts of the brain. Yet so many people are fascinated by WHAT we do. Hmmm. Maybe we need to stay focused on choosing happy pursuits.
What would happen if you chose to spend TODAY focused on one activity- choosing happy pursuits- only?
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