by Doug Gray | Nov 14, 2012 | Business, change, Coaching, Employment, money, Personal Development, strengths
…is as smart as eating pasta without a fork. You can get something done. But it’s messy.
Assessments define coaching success for several reasons. At an organizational level, we define patterns, norms, needs, oddities. At an individual level, we determine job fit, strengths, career path, succession, potential value.
Recently I met a consultant (with an undergraduate degree from Harvard College) who stated, “I don’t need to use assessments in my work.” I discarded his opinion. Rubbish.
We always use assessments. The data is invaluable for coaching and consulting.
How about you?
by Doug Gray | Nov 13, 2012 | Business, Coaching, Leadership, Managers, Personal Development, safety, strengths, Success
Reason #11. Graduate School.
When doing my graduate research at Dartmouth College I was obsessed with risk-taking behavior. Key questions included: Why do we intentionally embrace a known risk? What causes us to embrace more risk in academics or business or interpersonal choices? How do we encourage constructive risk tolerance, risky shift, and risk taking behavior?
At the time I was teaching high school English in a boarding school in New Hampshire. Like every faculty member, I was required to embrace the “triple threat” requirements as a teacher, dorm parent, and a coach. I supervised a dormitory house with 12 9th grade boys. I coached soccer and x-c skiing. I taught rock climbing, whitewater canoeing, winter camping, outdoor adventures. I ran a January program that was designed to “foster risk taking” in academics and socially constructive outdoor adventures, which included a 3-day mandatory winter camping expedition called “Sophomore Wilderness.” And I met a lovely woman that I was not supposed to date– because she was on the faculty. And we dated. Got engaged. Then married, on Lake Winnepausaukee. Some 23 + years ago. Like the students and other faculty, I embraced risk.
My research required that I develop an assessment of adolescent risk taking behavior. Based upon recent related research and validated approaches. Then test the questions on hundreds of adolescents at summer camps, and at two independent high schools.
I found that adolescents described self-esteem in multi-dimensions (such as physical, social, academic, etc.) But adolescents did not discriminate between types of risk in that way. They only discriminated between socially constructive risks (helping others, talking to a teacher, etc) or socially destructive risks (taking drugs, sexual activity, etc.)
Some 25+ years later I remain fascinated by several facts:
1. Adults act like those adolescents. Adults discriminate between socially constructive and socially non-constructive risks.
2. That instant between a stimulus/trigger and a response/action defines our career success.
3. Coaches/consultants can help adults determine what is safe or risky, and what is productive or not.
4. I remain continually surprised and puzzled by that opening question: Why do people intentionally embrace a known risk?
What do you think?
by Doug Gray | Sep 24, 2012 | Business, change, exercise
Happiness is elastic.
Like a giant rubber band. Thankfully, we can stretch and create more happiness when we are intentional.
We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 5 of 5:
5. Give.
The happiest people give generously. They give time. They give talents.
John Maxwell, the “Leadership Guru of the Decade”, calls this the Law of Reciprocity. The more you give, without expectation of direct return, then the more you will receive.
In Rotary the motto is, “Service above self.”
The happiest people give because they choose to do so. And in return, those who give report tremendous feelings of altrusim and compassion.
Did you know that our brains are hardwired? When we do certain behaviors, we can see electrical and chemical activity in certain portions of the brain. For instance, consider this experiment. Imagine that we select two sets of people, randomly matched. What would happen if we gave $100 to each person? Anything different? Now imagine that the first set was asked to invest the money on others. The second set was not given any instructions, they could use the money in any way they desired. Now, would you expect anything different? What would their brain images indicate?
The first set of people, who were asked to invest $100 in others, had different brain images. They reported it as “happiness.” And we can see the impact on their brain imagery in bright colors. One conclusion from this study is that we are hard wired to the reward mechanisms in our brain. Another conclusion is that when we choose to give, we can create happiness in ourselves and others.
So, who can you give something to, today? What can you give away, today? How can you help someone else experience happiness?
A friend recently overheard someone state that he had a bicycle on layaway. He used the bicycle daily. So my friend quietly paid off the debt. Anonymously.
What can you give, right now?
by Doug Gray | Sep 22, 2012 | Business
Happiness is elastic.
Thankfully. We can stretch and become more happy.
We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 4 of 5:
4. Keep Learning.
Our brains are delightfully complex organs, designed to evolve. We regenerate brain cells throughout our lives. That process, called “Ontogeny,” requires stimulation.
We perceive the world (using our 5 senses.) That stimulation is interpreted by the brain, based upon previous schemas/experience/data, then stored for some response.
When someone gives us a kiss (stimulation) we respond (with pheromes and increased blood flow.) Then we call it something happy, like love.
Just so, we follow our curiosity to stimulate our brains in hundreds of ways.
We can keep learning by:
- asking questions
- using our non-dominant hand when cooking or writing
- speaking a new language
- visiting new places or people
- researching a new recipe, or subject, or interest
- intentionally trying new activities, in a new way
When we keep learning we stimulate the brain in new ways. That process keeps us agile. And leads to happiness.
Learning is, in fact, a lifelong process.
So, what would you like to learn today? What are three subjects you want to explore this week? Who are you curious about meeting, and why?
by Doug Gray | Sep 20, 2012 | Business
Happiness is elastic.
Like a giant rubber band.
We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 3 of 5:
3. Take Notice.
Our awareness defines our reality. That fact may seem obvious, but the results are nothing short of spectacular.
Consider your current level of awareness in these ways:
- your internal physical state
- your emotional state
- the external weather
- the political climate in your home town
- who you listen to (new sources, influential people…)
We know that cognitive behavioral theory is defined by reinforcement. For instance, if you listen to political or social or economic views from only one source, that will reinforce your perspective. We take notice. In fact, we have a “confirming bias” which inclines us to believe what we already know or believe.
And those beliefs are reinforced at a neuronal level in our brains.
Until we notice something else.
Like a seasonal change, an Arab Spring, a joyful neighbor…
Happiness occurs when we take notice of the joys and pleasures around us. We label them. We affirm others. We celebrate.
So, how do you take notice? Who do you need to call or take notice of today? What would happen if you took notice of that person right now?
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