by Doug Gray | Dec 9, 2011 | change, exercise, family, Leadership, Managers, Meetings, money, Personal Development, strengths, Success
Recently our high school-aged daughter asked, “Daddy, you talk to people all day long about their success. If you can make it simple, what are the two keys to success?”
If she was quizzing me, then I failed. Perhaps because I did not expect the question, perhaps because I wanted to say something special to her.
I said something trite: Focus on your strengths. Persist. Follow your passions. Build a great team. But sadly, like most of us, perhaps, I just could not find the words. Frankly, I struck out.
Then yesterday someone made it simple. Now I can answer her…
What are the 2 keys to success?
1. Attention, and 2. Support.
Just as we attend to an infant and support their growth, we create gardens of success. Every successful person talks about those who gave them attention. Their mentors. Their elders. Their coaches. Those who listened well, believed in them, supported them. After repeated actions toward a desirable goal, those people thrived and eventually felt successful.
This morning I shared this idea with someone. She doodled a circle, then drew an exclamation point, bold, in the center of the circle, to represent “attention,” then she gave it legs to represent “support,” then gave it an arrow to represent a future success. That image works!
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The same pattern occurs in a coaching engagement. When I first meet someone they may be uncertain of the process, unclear about why they are receiving the attention. A common fear is that coaching is a process of “fixing behavioral gaps or deficiencies.” As if we could dunk people into a “flea and tick bath” and they emerge cleaned, ready for the next challenge. Instead, people decide if they like the attention, if they can use the support, and if they want to develop their strengths. That choice is the key to success.
So, key coaching questions may include, “Who do you need to give more attention to?” Or, “How can you support someone’s strengths?”
Time to go… I now have an answer for my daughter.
What are you going to do?
by Doug Gray | Sep 26, 2011 | Business, change, Coaching, faith, family, Leadership, Managers, Meetings, Resources, strengths, Success
Imagine if we started each day or each meeting with something like the following…
Father God, and the Great Spirits, I pray that just for today I choose to uplift others by reinforcing their strengths and maximizing my strengths. And just for today I pray that we choose faith over fear in every decision. Amen
by Doug Gray | Sep 20, 2011 | Business, change, Coaching, family, Leadership, money, Personal Development, Sales, Success, Uncategorized
ActionLearningAudio
Yes, I am serious. Listen to this audio.
Consider how many people you know who have ignored their health, or made poor choices about their partner, or refused to relocate, or let a character trait such as stubbornness prevent them from some desire.
Now consider how many people you know who have chosen to define their values, develop daily habits to reinforce those passions, or chosen to serve thousands of others.
Passionate Actions define us. Just as you choose to take care of your aging parents, or call that friend, or exceed your client’s expectations, or regularly exercise, your passions define your individual actions.
Passionate Actions also define us as a species.
Consider what happens when we build a business, commit to a relationship, care for others, develop long term friendships, congratulate a colleague, show kindness, speak positively about others…. Ultimately, we are choosing constructive acts for our species.
There is plenty of fear in the world. And we can choose to polarize and divide (e.g. select any blog RE: political, ethnic, cultural, social, economic debates…) We can choose fear. Or we can choose passions.
You can make anabolic, constructive choices to live serving others.
What are you choosing to do?
by Doug Gray | Sep 20, 2011 | Business, change, Coaching, family, Leadership, Managers, Personal Development, Success
Hello _________,
I have been thinking about our conversation all day and have some initial thoughts,
1. Change starts with the overwhelming BELIEF that you DESERVE a better life/ desired change.
2. That idea may sound cyclical, or odd, but it is overwhelming to me at times. And I see it in the most difficult coaching clients too. It requires you to adopt some beliefs. And frankly, that is the hardest step.
3. IMHO, many people were raised to believe many limiting beliefs about money, wealth, deserving a rewarding career, health, you name it. My family of origin caused me to change many beliefs. I have struggled. My coaching clients struggle. You may not struggle, I understand.
4. As a gift, I have just ordered you a book that has helped me a lot. And I enjoy giving it to many clients. It is called “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind”, by Harv Eker. He claims that he can predict anyone’s financial or career future after 2-3 minutes of conversation. His experience is that we all have financial blueprints about wealth and opportunity and success.
5. In graduate school I learned how these can be re-programmed. Thankfully. The brain is elastic. It cannot separate “I am stating that I deserve a new career” from “I deserve a new career.”
6. So, a coaching question to explore may be, “What would it take for me to BELIEVE that I DESERVE a better life?”
7. Coaches help people change. There are three well-proven steps that help all of us move from 1) awareness to 2) constructive action, to 3) individual and team accountability. Our beliefs are a choice. I have changed. You can change too.
Here are some options for your consideration. I am willing to:
1. Talk daily for 30 minutes as you define your passions and next career
2. Meet weekly directly, or over Skype, or on the phone, to do the same
3. Provide best of class articles on career search, etc,
4. Provide assessments to help you assess your strengths and consider next steps
5. Steer you toward digital resources, essential networks
6. Share the above with your wife
7. Be a coach at times
8. Be a friend at times
9. Be uninvolved at times
10. Something else/ any combination of the above.
So, what would you like to do next?
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