by Doug Gray | Nov 9, 2016 | change, Coaching, Leadership, Managers, positive psychology
Today, the morning after, I have had three sessions with leaders who represent the division and polarity of our country. One is an EVP in technology, born in India, whose 14-year old son is afraid to go to school today because he is Muslim. One is a female senior manager in healthcare who voted for Trump even though she sees him as yet-one-more sexist bully in a patriarchal system with a double standard. One is a director at a F100 who does not know how to respond to the rumors in his organization. Notice the fears from each of these leaders?
Consider 3 lessons:
- Timing. Coaches focuses on the now and the future, by definition. So when should coaches encourage leaders to act on their convictions? Assume that 50% of the people you meet today are delighted because Trump won, and 50% are sad because Clinton lost. Further assume that within each group 50% are hopeful that the election will lead to a better future, and the other 50% are frightened or uncertain. In short, only 25% of the populace is hopeful because their person won, and 75% are uncertain, sad or fearful. Positive psychology coaching requires that we 1) define a hopeful future state and 2) act toward that hopeful future.
Possible actions: Celebrate your freedoms, TODAY, with your loved ones. Plant a garden. Pick up your children early from school. Call your loved ones. Model a hopeful future, with others, immediately. Leaders model a better future. Great leaders model a better future more frequently than average leaders. TODAY is the best day to model your leadership capacity.
- Precedent. For the first time in U.S. history we have a president elect with no experience in the military, and no experience in political office. Trump will require executive coaching. Experienced leaders will need to teach him how to be a great president. Who will share that expertise? If business leaders or political leaders withhold information, or drive agendas that further their best interests, then history will teach us some negative lessons. The pollsters and Washington, DC-based media underestimated the voters. What does that fact mean? There is no precedent for coaching Trump. His advisors demonstrated mastery with the media and attack ads. Does that fact imply that leaders should tolerate foul language in our families, schools and organizations?
Possible actions: Take a stand for your core values, whatever they are. Share hope and optimism with others. Discuss the balance of power in the U.S. constitution, and the global influence of decision-making. Re-read Jefferson’s opinion that revolutions prevent despots from dominating. Model ethical leadership in your organization, family, or schools.
- Embrace change. We just elected another candidate who is thought to represent change. What does that really mean? No one likes to be changed. Yet all leaders like to make changes. At a recent conference I heard a perspective that may be useful. We may complain about the rate of change, especially technologically-driven change that reduces jobs with automation or transparent access to data. However, the rate of change, TODAY, is slower than it will ever be for the rest of your life. As coaches of leaders, that fact implies that if we embrace change, TODAY, then we will be better prepared to embrace other changes tomorrow. How can it be otherwise?
Possible actions: Talk to someone from a different racial, economic or political group and listen carefully to their concerns. That is what coaches do. Hire a coach or ask someone to be your mentor. Select a mentor who is younger, or quite different. Then listen carefully. Assess your psychological capital (Psy Cap). We are a resilient species. When we embrace change from multiple perspectives then we model a more united states.
So, what are you going to do TODAY?
Contact your coach today. Or your clients.
Then let me know what you choose to do TODAY. Contact Us.
To you, at your best, Doug Gray, PCC, call me at 615.905.1892.
What are you waiting for?
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by Doug Gray | Mar 9, 2016 | Leadership Coach Nashville
For 10+ years I led wilderness expeditions and teaching groups and providing individual leadership coaching for Outward Bound Schools in 3 countries. Each expedition was a microcosm of values and behavior. The photo above represents an extension of those skills.
In 2006, I raced on a 10-day expeditionary adventure race, called Primal Quest. Our team of four traveled continuously together, over 600 miles, mountain biking, trail running, climbing, rappelling, canyoneering, kayaking, and river swimming through the wilderness near Moab, Utah. We finished and were featured on CBS Sports. Hence, the image reminds me of a good team experience.
Our primary team goal was to cross the finish line, and our secondary goal was to remain good friends. We accomplished each goal.
Now let me pose a leadership coaching question: How do you measure excellence for your team?
Team Action-Learning.com included Doug Gray (captain), Bill Jordan (hoss), Jennifer Rinderle (sparkplug) and Steve Deis (lead navigator).
In 2004 we finished Primal Quest Washington.
In 2008 we finished Primal Quest Montana. Then we rested. Because we were tired.
What are you waiting for?
We all need coaching at times. Call Doug Gray, PCC, at 615.905.1892 today.
Download this list of services and investment levels now:
by Doug Gray | Dec 19, 2015 | Business, change, Coaching, Leadership, Managers, published articles, talent
In a recent article published by Forbes, Verne Harnish sloppily predicts that in 2016 the term “manager” should be discarded. All companies should replace the role of manager with the role of “coach.” What rubbish. As evidence he cites only one example- that Zappos does so. Ignore this article because it is sloppy and inaccurate. Why confuse the marketplace or denigrate both roles?
Managers should manage; coaches should coach.
We need consistent terms for “managers” and “coaches” for at least these 3 reasons.
- Managers by definition need to maximize the productivity of others. Some hierarchy is mandatory, because the manager’s job requires writing a performance review and determining compensation. Read Peter Drucker, called the father of organizational development, on this point. The idea of maximizing productivity is as old as Diomedes. And as new as Marcus Buckingham. The role requires that managers work in private to coach others, but that skill of coaching should never replace the role of coaching. Perhaps the best model for describing the complex role of managers is Henry Mintzberg’s Managing (2011), which should be required reading for any serious managers, or any student of management theory and practice.
- Coaches, by definition, support others to achieve their personal and professional goals. The agenda is defined by the client/leader, not by a coach or anyone else. The process of coaching varies, from a competency approach defined by the International Coaching Federation to a theoretical construct such as positive psychology (the best example is here). In executive coaching, there is a validated need for both internal coaches who expedite the careers of HiPos, and external coaches who provide customized leadership development for senior leaders. None of these coaches are managers. However, managers are often tasked with coaching their direct reports. See point 1.
- Confusion abounds in many learning organizations, especially those that are dominated by fear. We do not need any sloppy terminology. Coaching was once an activity designed to remediate some undesirable behavior. Not any more. Coaching now is a targeted behavioral investment. For instance, I collaborate with internal leaders who provide succession planning data, performance reviews, 360 or personality assessments. As an external coach, my role is to accelerate the agenda of senior leaders. There is no better investment in top talent. Retention increases 18 months on average. For an example of the largest global provider of executive coaching, visit CoachSource. We provide scale for any-sized organization, in 45 countries, with over 1,000 expert executive coaches. Results should define your investments, not any silly claims.
Bottom line: Avoid sloppy terms. Call managers what they are. Call coaches what they are. Invest in talent development.
To learn more, call Doug Gray, PCC, at 615-905-1892 or schedule your complimentary, confidential session here .
What are you waiting for?
by Doug Gray | Aug 3, 2015 | change, Coaching, Success
Thankfully, as a species and as individuals, we know that humans adapt to environmental stimuli.
Behavior changes when we (1) modify the cues (e.g. positive or negative triggers), then
(2) we change the routine (e.g. gestalt, patterns) and
(3) we include regular rewards (e.g. self-care, executive coaching and consulting)
As an example, when you (1) place a white placement at a table, and sit down to eat no more than three times a day (cue), and (2) use a 5” diameter plate that has a smaller serving size than most American restaurants, and refuse to snack (routine), then (3) your reward will be weight loss or weight management.
Same with any behavior change.
Imagine that you are stuck in an undesirable habit, and that you “know you need” some behavior change. For instance, imagine that you desire to build resilience.
Resilience can be defined as “the capacity to adapt successfully in the presence of risk and adversity.”
As a second example, when you pause for 5 seconds before saying or doing your response (cue), using a physical trigger or new activity to anchor the new routine, such as using one hand to pull on each finger of your other hand (routine), then your reward may be guidance from your prefrontal cortex that informs you to reply in some career-enhancing manner. You adapt successfully and build more resilience. Get the idea?
Individual behavior changes faster when others reward us. Find a coach or an accountability partner. You do not need to hire an executive coach or consultant to practice behavior change.
Call Doug Gray, PCC, today at 615.905.1892.
What are you waiting for?
by Doug Gray | May 28, 2015 | Business, change, Coaching, exercise, Leadership, Managers, strengths
Like most of you, perhaps, I have demonstrated some expertise at the ability to ride a bicycle since the age of 3.
Unlike most of you, I have perfected that skill in multiple expedition bicycle races, featured on CBS Sport three times, bicycle tours throughout Europe, the maritime provinces, and the U.S. Big deal, right?
So what would happen if I tried to UN-LEARN that skill?
1. In this cool video clip, a bicycle was re-engineered so that when the handlebars were turned one way, the wheel would go in the opposite direction.
2. It took an adult 8 months to LEARN how to ride this new bike.
3. It took his 3-year old son 3 weeks to LEARN how to ride this new bike.
What do these two facts say about the brain’s ability to learn a new behavior, then to unlearn that behavior after 8 months of reinforcement?
(Pause and reflect here…)
One of my Dartmouth College professors, in an obtuse course called Developmental PsychoBiology, taught me that we have neural pathways that reinforce certain behaviors. Call them habits. When we practice using our right hand with a fork to eat spaghetti, we can reinforce that pattern until it becomes “learned.” If we want to eat spaghetti with chopsticks we need to learn a new neural pattern, until it becomes a habit.
Too many adults say “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Nonsense. There is abundant empirical evidence to the contrary, for both dogs and humans. Such a perspective is based upon ignorance.
So an executive coaching question may be, “What new behaviors do you need to learn?”
Examples include:
- calling 10 former friends to say “Hello, how are you? I miss you.”
- being kind to someone who needs kindness
- supporting the strengths of your loved ones, immediately, by doing or saying something complimentary and true. Immediately. Repeatedly.
- learning a new skill, such as how to play the banjo, speak Spanish, or write javascript
- self-advocate for that promotion or new challenge at work
- re-design your career or future
If you need a boost (and we all need a boost at times) then give me a call today.
I’d like to know what you are interested in doing. Or UN-Learning.
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