by Doug Gray | Sep 24, 2012 | Business, change, exercise
Happiness is elastic.
Like a giant rubber band. Thankfully, we can stretch and create more happiness when we are intentional.
We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 5 of 5:
5. Give.
The happiest people give generously. They give time. They give talents.
John Maxwell, the “Leadership Guru of the Decade”, calls this the Law of Reciprocity. The more you give, without expectation of direct return, then the more you will receive.
In Rotary the motto is, “Service above self.”
The happiest people give because they choose to do so. And in return, those who give report tremendous feelings of altrusim and compassion.
Did you know that our brains are hardwired? When we do certain behaviors, we can see electrical and chemical activity in certain portions of the brain. For instance, consider this experiment. Imagine that we select two sets of people, randomly matched. What would happen if we gave $100 to each person? Anything different? Now imagine that the first set was asked to invest the money on others. The second set was not given any instructions, they could use the money in any way they desired. Now, would you expect anything different? What would their brain images indicate?
The first set of people, who were asked to invest $100 in others, had different brain images. They reported it as “happiness.” And we can see the impact on their brain imagery in bright colors. One conclusion from this study is that we are hard wired to the reward mechanisms in our brain. Another conclusion is that when we choose to give, we can create happiness in ourselves and others.
So, who can you give something to, today? What can you give away, today? How can you help someone else experience happiness?
A friend recently overheard someone state that he had a bicycle on layaway. He used the bicycle daily. So my friend quietly paid off the debt. Anonymously.
What can you give, right now?
by Doug Gray | Sep 22, 2012 | Business
Happiness is elastic.
Thankfully. We can stretch and become more happy.
We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 4 of 5:
4. Keep Learning.
Our brains are delightfully complex organs, designed to evolve. We regenerate brain cells throughout our lives. That process, called “Ontogeny,” requires stimulation.
We perceive the world (using our 5 senses.) That stimulation is interpreted by the brain, based upon previous schemas/experience/data, then stored for some response.
When someone gives us a kiss (stimulation) we respond (with pheromes and increased blood flow.) Then we call it something happy, like love.
Just so, we follow our curiosity to stimulate our brains in hundreds of ways.
We can keep learning by:
- asking questions
- using our non-dominant hand when cooking or writing
- speaking a new language
- visiting new places or people
- researching a new recipe, or subject, or interest
- intentionally trying new activities, in a new way
When we keep learning we stimulate the brain in new ways. That process keeps us agile. And leads to happiness.
Learning is, in fact, a lifelong process.
So, what would you like to learn today? What are three subjects you want to explore this week? Who are you curious about meeting, and why?
by Doug Gray | Sep 20, 2012 | Business
Happiness is elastic.
Like a giant rubber band.
We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 3 of 5:
3. Take Notice.
Our awareness defines our reality. That fact may seem obvious, but the results are nothing short of spectacular.
Consider your current level of awareness in these ways:
- your internal physical state
- your emotional state
- the external weather
- the political climate in your home town
- who you listen to (new sources, influential people…)
We know that cognitive behavioral theory is defined by reinforcement. For instance, if you listen to political or social or economic views from only one source, that will reinforce your perspective. We take notice. In fact, we have a “confirming bias” which inclines us to believe what we already know or believe.
And those beliefs are reinforced at a neuronal level in our brains.
Until we notice something else.
Like a seasonal change, an Arab Spring, a joyful neighbor…
Happiness occurs when we take notice of the joys and pleasures around us. We label them. We affirm others. We celebrate.
So, how do you take notice? Who do you need to call or take notice of today? What would happen if you took notice of that person right now?
by Doug Gray | Sep 18, 2012 | Business
Happiness is elastic.
Surely you know someone who always “seems happy.” How did they learn to be that way?
We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 2 of 5:
2. Be active.
The best way to change your mood is to change your physical state. We know that 30+ minutes of sweaty exercise 3x/week creates happiness. It controls obesity. It reduces heart disease. Yet fewer than 20% of Americans make that choice… Hmmm.
You can be different.
When you are physically active you will reinforce the physical systems in your body and create more happiness.
The circulatory system, muscular system, lymphatic system, skeletal system, etc are all related in a beautiful organism called your body.
Consider how quickly you can be active if you:
- stretched in the hallway or on conference calls
- walked and talked for quick meetings
- agreed to be a regular accountability partner for someone
- walked across the parking lot
- spent 20 minutes daily walking and talking, like someone in Manhattan, regardless of where you live
- kept an activity journal
- download a free app to measure caloric output
- shared activity with friends using “MapMy Fitness”
- learned yoga or pilates
As a former NCAA x-c ski coach, and an athlete, my happiness is directly related to how physically active I choose to be each day. As we age our metabolism changes. Our physical capacity will diminish. (For instance, I no linger run 6:30 mile splits, but I can still run.)
The shortest route to happiness starts with physical activity.
So, what physical activity can you do now? Who can help you be accountable for that activity?
by Doug Gray | Sep 16, 2012 | Business, Coaching, exercise
There is much being written and talked about in the subject of happiness. Martin Seligman wrote Positive Psychology and spurred a movement. There is a clever movie on Netflix called “Happy” that is shared within families, church and school communities. The “pursuit of happiness” is thought to be a uniquely American trait, associated with the New World, connected to the American Dream… and NOT related to Gross Domestic Product or Net Worth.
In fact, there is a movement called the Happy Planet Index, which measures the national well-being against resource use.
The happiest nation? Not Denmark or Switzerland… It is Costa Rica. Which stopped funding an army in 1949, has a commitment to renewable energy, and that “Latin vibe” that encourages social connection. One good reference on the Happy Planet Index (HPI) is statistician Nic Marks, on www.Ted.com, August 30, 2010.
Happiness is elastic. We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 1 of 5:
1. Connect.
Our social relationships define our success. Extroverts have always known that they need social reinforcement in order to feel comfortable. Shared housing movements are increasing from Scandanavia to Sun City, USA. When we are dis-stressed we typically go to a group (think about Alcoholics Anonymous, a sacred church, or Starbucks…) When we are in transition we seek groups for social connection (think social media, affinity groups, job seekers…)
So, how are you connecting today and this week? Who else do you need to connect to?
Recently, on my birthday, I received many Facebook emails. They were nice. (Thank you.) And I treasure the phone calls even more, from loved ones or long-lost ones… But I will never forget the friends and family who stopped by to visit. There are never enough of those visits.
On a scale of 1-10, how connected are you now? What do you need to do to increase that number?
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