by Doug Gray | Jan 2, 2013 | Business, change, Coaching, exercise, faith, Leadership, Managers, Personal Development, strengths, Success
There are only 2 times each day when you are alone with your thoughts. No distractions. No chaos…
1. when you wake up and think…
2. when you go to sleep and think…
So, it should be no surprise that, throughout recorded history, wise people have urged people to ask these two questions daily:
1. Who can I help today? Let that answer lead you into a life of service.
2. What am I thankful for today? Let that answer lead you to a life filled with gratitude.
Although I am not the wisest person in the world, I have practiced these two questions every day for decades. The answers have helped guide me. Perhaps they will guide you also.
How do these answers help you live with gratitude?
by Doug Gray | Dec 31, 2012 | change, Coaching, exercise, faith, Leadership, strengths, Success
Thomas Jefferson described “The Pursuit of Happiness” as an eternal truth. He wrote amid revolutions in France and the unformed United States.
Recent research in neurobiology demonstrates that HOW we choose to live enervates different parts of the brain. Yet so many people are fascinated by WHAT we do. Hmmm. Maybe we need to stay focused on choosing happy pursuits.
What would happen if you chose to spend TODAY focused on one activity- choosing happy pursuits- only?
by Doug Gray | Dec 29, 2012 | book review, Business, change, Coaching, Employment, exercise, faith, money, Personal Development, strengths, Success
Hello fellow book lovers…
Perhaps you have read or know The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. If not, I heartily recommend it for a book discussion group. Or as a gift for loved ones.
Great combination of self-disclosure, research, wit, personal development.
I bought this impulsively for a loved one for Christmas, and of course she has not yet touched it. I’ve inhaled it. So I thought you might appreciate it…
by Doug Gray | Nov 13, 2012 | Business, change, Coaching, exercise, Leadership, Managers, safety, strengths
Reason #9. Rock climbing.
I love to lead climb.
In my 20s I spent several months rock climbing the best cliffs in the United States. For 3 months I lived in a car with several friends, and we travelled to Boulder, CO and Devils Tower, WY. We ate granola. And macaroni and cheese. While studying guidebooks. Or talking with lanky climbers from all over the world.
Boulder Canyon and Eldorado Canyons were meccas for serious climbers. As a lead climber, my partner and I started on the bottom and climbed all day, until we summited on a ledge. Then we rappelled back down, or hiked down. Every afternoon the thunderstorms terrified us. Every climb had terrifying sections. At Devils Tower we did overhanging aid climbs that required swinging traverses. Just like James Bond on the Eiger in Switzerland. We learned to mitigate risks.
When moving on vertical rock, you have 4 potential points of contact. If two feet and one hand are enough, then you can move the other hand. Climbers learn to distribute weight evenly. To select resting places. To control energy exertion. To keep your hands below your heart to reduce fatigue. To ignore fear.
After days or weeks, your hands develop callouses. After many first ascents, your confidence increases. So you try something harder.
And then you fall.
My most terrifying fall was about 40′ late one afternoon. I had felt invincible. Then the crack thinned out. I could not find any placement. My legs shook. I could not climb back down. And my last piece of protection (climbing hardware) was about 20′ below me. Because I had felt so confident… I had climbed higher than I should have.
I recall pausing. There was a choice. And I chose to fall. I still recall that instant, some 30+ years later.
So I tumbled 20′ to the climbing hardware, then another 20′ below that, until my partner saved my life. We were hundreds of feet above the canyon floor.
That instant of choice reminds me that we can choose to be safe, or not.
Just like adults on a job site. Or adults sorting through career choices. Or adults considering a risky move.
What are some reasons why you care about safety?
by Doug Gray | Sep 24, 2012 | Business, change, exercise
Happiness is elastic.
Like a giant rubber band. Thankfully, we can stretch and create more happiness when we are intentional.
We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 5 of 5:
5. Give.
The happiest people give generously. They give time. They give talents.
John Maxwell, the “Leadership Guru of the Decade”, calls this the Law of Reciprocity. The more you give, without expectation of direct return, then the more you will receive.
In Rotary the motto is, “Service above self.”
The happiest people give because they choose to do so. And in return, those who give report tremendous feelings of altrusim and compassion.
Did you know that our brains are hardwired? When we do certain behaviors, we can see electrical and chemical activity in certain portions of the brain. For instance, consider this experiment. Imagine that we select two sets of people, randomly matched. What would happen if we gave $100 to each person? Anything different? Now imagine that the first set was asked to invest the money on others. The second set was not given any instructions, they could use the money in any way they desired. Now, would you expect anything different? What would their brain images indicate?
The first set of people, who were asked to invest $100 in others, had different brain images. They reported it as “happiness.” And we can see the impact on their brain imagery in bright colors. One conclusion from this study is that we are hard wired to the reward mechanisms in our brain. Another conclusion is that when we choose to give, we can create happiness in ourselves and others.
So, who can you give something to, today? What can you give away, today? How can you help someone else experience happiness?
A friend recently overheard someone state that he had a bicycle on layaway. He used the bicycle daily. So my friend quietly paid off the debt. Anonymously.
What can you give, right now?
by Doug Gray | Sep 16, 2012 | Business, Coaching, exercise
There is much being written and talked about in the subject of happiness. Martin Seligman wrote Positive Psychology and spurred a movement. There is a clever movie on Netflix called “Happy” that is shared within families, church and school communities. The “pursuit of happiness” is thought to be a uniquely American trait, associated with the New World, connected to the American Dream… and NOT related to Gross Domestic Product or Net Worth.
In fact, there is a movement called the Happy Planet Index, which measures the national well-being against resource use.
The happiest nation? Not Denmark or Switzerland… It is Costa Rica. Which stopped funding an army in 1949, has a commitment to renewable energy, and that “Latin vibe” that encourages social connection. One good reference on the Happy Planet Index (HPI) is statistician Nic Marks, on www.Ted.com, August 30, 2010.
Happiness is elastic. We experience happiness at different times, and some people are more happy than others. We know the reward mechanisms of the brain are reinforced when we do certain activities. And when we reinforce those behaviors, we can be happier. Some activities, such as mindfulness, are now being taught in MBA programs… so that people become more happy.
Here is step 1 of 5:
1. Connect.
Our social relationships define our success. Extroverts have always known that they need social reinforcement in order to feel comfortable. Shared housing movements are increasing from Scandanavia to Sun City, USA. When we are dis-stressed we typically go to a group (think about Alcoholics Anonymous, a sacred church, or Starbucks…) When we are in transition we seek groups for social connection (think social media, affinity groups, job seekers…)
So, how are you connecting today and this week? Who else do you need to connect to?
Recently, on my birthday, I received many Facebook emails. They were nice. (Thank you.) And I treasure the phone calls even more, from loved ones or long-lost ones… But I will never forget the friends and family who stopped by to visit. There are never enough of those visits.
On a scale of 1-10, how connected are you now? What do you need to do to increase that number?
Recent Comments