by Doug Gray | Dec 27, 2024 | Business, change, Consulting, family, Family Wealth, Leadership, strengths, Success
And why we should talk about it!
Yes, the pyramids and Great Wall are significant structures.
However, if I were to list the greatest wonders of the world, Tribalism would be #1. Think about it.
You and I do whatever we can to protect our loved ones. Their safety is critical. We may mortgage the house to protect our children who require healthcare. Our social groups reinforce whatever world views we think are accurate. Algorithms are as ancient as the walls in Jerusalem that separated tribesmen. Why assume that tribalism is always a bad thing?
Tribalism describes the social fabric in every community. In every corner of the world. We have dress codes that reinforce local norms. We have countless languages, and jargon, to reinforce who is in the group. And we have endless examples of battles for property and social honor. Those tribal histories create identity and protect shared values.
My family roots include a Scottish clan that brutally fought for marginal farmland and sheep. My wife’s roots include a different Scottish clan that brutally fought against my antecedents. And today we embrace our shared Scottish roots. When I travel abroad and hear someone with an American accent I’m immediately drawn to them. Tribalism at work. We quickly identify those who “in group” and those who are “out group.”
Psychologists (like me) know that those judgements occur in a millisecond. Thankfully! They enabled my antecedents to survive. And they enable you and I to quickly discern threats from allies.
Tribalism in extended families permits all of us to protect and distribute assets (That’s the second wonder of the world, on my list of two wonders. For a different post). We save money and property so that we can distribute it to our loved ones.
When families protect assets, they can compound over time. The Vanderbilt assets were dissolved within one generation amid squalor. The Rockefeller assets are wisely distributed to this day because the family and their advisors subscribe to a shared belief: wealth requires responsible stewardship and service to others.
All philanthropy is the result of tribalism at work. Look around your city. Look at the names on the buildings such as that museum, university, church, synagogue, stadium…. Look at the beautiful shared spaces like parks, libraries, with anonymous donors who want to support their legacy.
Recently I video-recorded some comments about tribalism and compounding assets with a Family Office client. They serve 80 wealthy families with complex needs. At root, most of them share the same values of integrity, asset preservation, legacy leadership, stewardship, philanthropy.
We don’t talk about family business succession because we don’t understand wealthy people. All family enterprises are built on tribalism.
Fears prevent us from understanding the greatest wealth transfer in human history, which is quietly successful, and happening today.
I wonder what would happen if we discussed the power of tribalism and compounding assets more openly? I can think of 4-5 people I’d like to learn from. How about you?
Schedule a 1:1 session with me soon!
by Doug Gray | Aug 18, 2012 | book review, Business, Coaching, Leadership, Managers, Personal Development, Resources, strengths
The subtitle is “How leaders find the right solutions by knowing what to ask.” (2005)
What would that success look like?
How can we create answers?
Open-ended questions like these are always useful when seeking solutions. As learning organizations drive toward change, the quality of question-based approaches will define the success of that organization.
Some highlights (in my signed copy) include:
p. 80+ behaviors and mindsets of a judger vs a learner
p.134+ traditional leaders vs coaching leaders behavior and legacies
p. 176+ relevance of action learning
p. 181+ a groundrule for action learning teams
Michael Marquardt does a great job of incorporating examples from interviews, and provides ample lists of questions so that readers can apply this content to their worlds.
He provides a strategic framework, and two tactical models for those who want training. The Global Institute for Action Learning and the Institute for Inquiring Leadership may be better for practitioners seeking tools.
Based on this book, I have developed a chart that moves from key/opening questions, to other questions, to notes, to action items.
How do you Lead with Questions in your world?
by Doug Gray | Jan 2, 2012 | Business, change, Coaching, exercise, faith, Personal Development, Resources, Sales, strengths, Success
The holidays are a perfect time for baking and cooking… but an epiphany?
The word “Epiphany” can be both a holiday and a feeling.
Perhaps you know that the Epiphany holiday is celebrated near January 6, as a traditional time for feasts, fruitcakes, Twelfth Night, and the manifestation of Jesus to the Maggi. In Colorado, people celebrate by catapulting fruitcakes. In France, people eat the “King Cake” until a child finds the porcelain bean and is declared “King for the Day.” A baptism connected to sudden surprise. I love how we mash traditions and beliefs into one holiday.
The feeling of Epiphany is a sudden realization, that “Eureka!” moment, when we discover something important (such as gravity), or something spiritual (such as God.) In fact, psychologists study the feeling of epiphany when studying innovation. Philosophers study supernatural insight. Mystics study the conditions that support epiphanies.
Hmmm.
Why not celebrate both the holiday and the feeling?
What if we could, somehow, select the ingredients, create a recipe, then bake a fertile climate for epiphanies? For instance, if we mashed together “preparation” and “inspiration”? Or “market” and “opportunity”? Or “buyer” and “seller”? Or chocolate on top of peanut butter cookies?
As a coach I help people design their future. Kind of like helping them create the recipe, so that they can frost the cake. The coaching process has 3 steps: 1) increasing awareness (of your strengths, a situation…), 2) taking action (with intentional constructive steps toward your personal and professional goals), and 3) driving accountability (determining what works, then doing more of that…”
I wonder if we can create Epiphanies, in a similar way?
Religious leaders and mystics talk about “Thin Places.” These may be cathedrals (like Winchester) or ancient sites (like Stonehenge) that enable us to feel connected to the supernatural or spiritual. If you have ever looked through stained glass, or sung in Handel’s Messiah, then you know about Thin Places.
For me, natural wild places are perfect conditions for Epiphanies. Last week, for instance, I was running along a rocky ridge line in New Hampshire. Imagine spruce and fir trees. Ancient granite. Snow and ice. A good friend nearby. Spectacular views of lakes and mountains. Then imagine the sun setting into crimson lines of endless colors. In that Thin Place I felt more spiritual than physical.
My epiphany was that, despite advancing age, I always feel stronger after a run. Connected to something ancient. Thankful for being alive.
So, here is a short Recipe for Creating Epiphanies:
1. Be physically active every day
2. Serve others
3. Do meaningful work
4. Consider possibilities
5. Maximize living in the Now
6. Design the Future
And let me know how it goes…
Do you think it is possible to celebrate both the holiday and the feeling of epiphany?
by Doug Gray | Dec 11, 2011 | book review, Business, change, Coaching, digital, Employment, energy industry, exercise, faith, family, Financial Professionals, Front, global, healthcare, Leadership, Managers, Meetings, money, Personal Development, physicians, published articles, Resources, safety, Sales, strengths, Success, talent, talent assessment, video
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